I read an excellent Substack a couple weeks ago by “El Gato Malo,” about what happens to us if we have lives void of struggle.His thesis is that struggle brings meaning and if we lead struggle free lives we will invariably invent things to struggle against.
He likens it to auto immunity. If we have no pathogens attacking us, our immune system ends up attacking ourselves.He posits that most of the campus protests are manufactured struggles from children that have led very easy lives. Its hard to disagree.
His essay got me thinking a lot about the bigger picture of struggle and just how important it is, if we are to live complete, meaning filled lives.
What have been the most meaning filled times of your life? Were they not when you had to overcome a major challenge? Was it when you graduated from college, got a promotion or ran your first marathon?
When I was running marathons, it always struck me how the goal (the race) was really just a celebration of the training. The real struggle with deep growth was anchored in the daily suffering I endured.
The daily struggle was where all the power and change came from. The race was the struggle party.
I find it interesting that we humans do whatever we can to minimize pain and struggle.
There is a multi trillion dollar industry around this. Where has this gotten us?
Fatter, sicker, dumber.
When you think of it, it is the only place that a struggle free life can lead us.
The pain of exercise is what makes us strong. Biting the tongue and listening is what makes us wise.
Pushing away from the table is what makes us thin. All of these impulses go against our animal nature but this is the only way to learn, grow and ultimately find meaning.
Meaning is born in the flames of struggle, but does it matter what we are struggling with?Can we simply hit our head with a hammer and struggle with a headache.
I think not.
I think just like exercising, there are principles of struggle that help build what we want.
Here are the principles I believe build effective struggle:
1. We have to be struggling for something bigger than ourselves. Think of a person you look up to, a hero. The central reason they are heroes is because they were struggling for something much larger than themselves.Perhaps they were struggling for others, for an ideal or for big ideas.
Think of Joan of Arc. We remember her hundreds of years later not because she had the best Texas BBQ, but because she was the Texas BBQ. Giving of self for a higher calling is the very essence of meaning.
2. You must see progress. Struggle with no progress and no change, makes life worse and more meaningless. Think Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, only for it to roll back down… for eternity. I am continually surprised at my lack of patience when achieving a goal.
As soon as I have part of the goal achieved I assume I should have the entire problem solved. We must see progress but at the same time BE PATIENT. This is why I think small tangible, daily goals are the best way to solve a challenge. This gives immediate feedback and allows us to be rewarded quickly. We change the big picture by focusing on the little picture.
3. Celebrate. Celebrate your wins. Remember what it took to get to where you are and plan for the next adventure. We see this all through the old testament. Work hard, rest, and have regular celebrations of remembrance. Rinse and repeat. Struggle, rest ... party. 🎉
4. Don’t struggle alone. No one finds real success in any endeavor alone. We all need coaches, mentors, and role models. Talk to anyone successful in business and they will tell you it was the team they built that the brought the results.
Find your team. Whether you are starting a business or learning a new sport, surround yourself with people that are better than you that can push you and support you.
May and I interviewed Dr. Keith Ablow a couple of weeks ago on Episode 284. He has a program called Pain to Power. We discussed this on the show. This idea is that our greatest pain is also how we access our greatest power.
In other words, lean into what scares you, explore that area of your life and see the growth.
Don’t just avoid the pain. Lean in and change your life.
I find this concept very interesting and Dr. Ablow can attest he has seen numerous patients helped with this approach.
I am taking this as a personal challenge.What am I scared of?
What causes me pain that I avoid like the plague?
Maybe these are the things I need to lean into more not less. I’ll let you know how it goes.
All aboard the struggle bus. Next stop—Awesomeville.
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